With the run-in to the May 18 Federal Election well underway, Australians are already tiring of Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s mansplaining rhetoric, with thousands of disgruntled voters demonstrating their growing dissatisfaction with the Liberal party by visiting PunchScottMorrison.com.au to, ‘Open up a can of (digital) whoop-a*s on the PM!'.
It’s a 2019 Australian Federal Punch-Up!
When questioned about the upcoming 2019 Australian general election, renowned left-wing union leader, Dave ‘Make sure you call me Davo’ Davis was quoted as saying:
“I’ve told everyone at the Leagues club about this website. And we all agree that it’s time Australia
showed the PM that we’re mad as hell and we’re not gonna take it anymore!”.
Perennial opposition leader Bill Shorten has also been on the receiving end of the Australian public’s pre-election rancour, with tens of thousands of middle-class Australians - desperate to hang on to their negative gearing and generous personal and small business tax breaks - rolling up the sleeves of their Tom Ford suits and putting down their Triple Venti Soy No Foam Skinny Lattes just long enough to visit PunchBillShorten.com.au in order to, ‘Give that Shorten chap a good what for!’.
Political blogger and three times Eastern Suburbs bridge champion, (Captain) Bruce Tabernacle Watkins-Drummond, from the Sydney suburb of Vaucluse, was quick to respond when questioned about the up-coming ‘2019 Australian Federal Punch-Up’:
“It’ll be a cold day in Bondi before we allow that commoner Bill Shorten to become PM! So punch on I say, punch on!”
Predicting the Result of the 2019 Federal Election
While some political pundits will view the greater number of votes counted on May 18th as revealing the winner of the Australian Federal Election, everyday Aussies will know the truth: that the real winner of the election will be the candidate who receives the least number of (digital) punches, and thus demonstrates once and for all, his superior popularity!
Back in 2016 the 'Great Australian Punch Up' proved to be the perfect prognosticator, with the final 'Punch Tally' being: 'Malcolm Turnbull - 70,528,013 Punches' and 'Bill Shorten - 72,044,130 Punches' thus perfectly predicting the election result! So keep a close eye on the 2019 Punch Tally as the election gets closer...
*** Digital Disclaimer ***
SEO North Sydney Pty Ltd, being the web design company responsible for these displays of digital shenanigans, wish to point out in the strongest possible terms that they are in no way taking sides in this election. Indeed, if this current Australian political debate were made up of countries, SEO North Sydney would be Switzerland. (Just without all the silly accents, hidden slush funds and corrupt FIFA officials…)
Further, while these websites may at first glance seem to be 'putting words into the mouths of Scott Morrison and Bill Shorten, SEO North Sydney Pty Ltd wish to point out that the words 'spoken' by the cartoon versions of both Scott and Bill on these websites, in no way represent either the views of the Liberal or Labour parties, or Scott Morrison's or Bill Shorten's personal views, or indeed anything either candidate may or may not have said in real life. Rather, the words 'spoken' are purely there for the purposes of parody, satire, et al. Naturally we could have had cartoon Scott saying, "If you have a go in this country, you will get a go. There is a fair go for those who have a go. That is what fairness in Australia means. This is something we hold very dear to us. It is why we believe Australians should keep more of what they earn." And had cartoon Bill saying, "Labour is at its best when we are the party of ideas and action - ideas that empower the powerless and actions that build a better Australia for the long term.” But honestly…where’s the humour in that?
Also, while we’re on the subject of pointing out the patently obvious, SEO North Sydney Pty Ltd wish to go on record and say that these sites are in NO WAY PROMOTING VIOLENCE. Be it against politicians or anyone else. And as much as you may wish to give these (or any other) politicians a good old fashioned shellacking for broken campaign promises or ludicrous shifts in policy. Don’t. Just don’t. Rather, might we suggest that you take out your pent-up frustrations on them here in the digital domain. Where, with a bit of imagination, you can give them a good what-for 'till the cows come home!
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