Friday, January 27th, 2012

Recently, people very close to me decided to break apart and finish almost ideal marriage due to some some problems caused by differences in opinions. I was curious and determined to dive into conflict resolution area in fear that maybe I'll have to deal with similar problems with my better half sometimes in future. I discovered that there is number government initiatives/subsidies which are state-funded and help with all sort of issues a modern family could possibly have including relationship counselling, prevention of domestic violence, divorce mediation and more. Check what i learned from my research.

Conflict remains an inevitable aspect of family life. Two people with differing thoughts, opinions, values, desires, motivations and lifestyles bring disagreeing views into a relationship. In time, recurring or unresolved conflict can break even the most secure relationships. To preserve the relationship, learn how to handle conflict and resolve issues in a positive manner. A trained mediator/specialist helps families and couples acquire and refine proper conflict management skills that protect and save relationships.

While conflict can harm a relationship, it can also benefit a couple. Meeting an issue head-on as a team creates a feeling of unity. Solving an issue together gives a family a benchmark that shows the power of teamwork. Understanding the other person and making an effort to hear their true feelings draws two individuals closer into real intimacy. For greater intimacy, a wise couple consults a mediator for assistance in embracing conflict resolution.

Conflicts range in intensity. Minor conflicts include differing opinions on what to eat for dinner or when to go to bed. Major conflicts involve deeper issues that test a partner’s respect, security or love within the relationship. Whether major or minor, unresolved conflict undermines the harmony on a relationship and leads to bitterness and hatred.

Usually, individuals react to conflict in different ways. Based on the family of origin and learned behavior, an individual may be unequipped to resolve conflict calmly or fairly. One partner denies the existence of conflict. Another partner gives in when faced with the spouse’s differing opinion. A competitive spouse refuses to be quiet unless the partner to capitulate. A child blames the conflict on the parents and avoids accepting responsibility. A spouse resorts to verbal or physical attacks to end conflict. These methods of addressing conflict often cause additional conflict and require professional assistance to overcome. When a couple or family realize they continually fight over the same issues, handle conflict poorly or cannot find common ground, a mediator offers a listening ear, helpful instruction and a neutral location in which conflicts are discussed and resolved.

A mediator equips family members to follow certain ground rules during times of conflict. Fighting fairly allows the couple to divide and conquer the issue rather than each other. Words and actions that criticize, blame, insult or abuse only attack the individual rather than the issue. Over time, these words become patters and add emotional resentment, hurt and pain to the growing list of conflict issues. A mediator helps couples learn to listen, understand and sympathize with their partner. Couples learn to build respect and walk through conflict without causing permanent damage to their partner. A family that implements safe fighting rules creates an atmosphere of mutual respect and esteem. All parties feel safe, valued and loved despite periods of conflict.

Ideally, conflicts would end in a win for everyone. Mediators work with couples to ensure they learn and implement skills that results in mutually satisfying results to conflict. A couple might agree on two mutually satisfying solutions to solve the problem. For the good of the relationship, the couple may choose an alternative solution in order to maintain peace and harmony. In cases, one partner will agree to lose in order to solve the issue. Resolution results when both parties feel heard and understood.

Mediation works for any conflict. Married or engaged couples, immediate families, stepfamilies and extended families benefit from allowing a third party to intercede. Instead of fighting each other, learn how to address the issue. Rather than attack each other, learn ways to fight fair and solve the problem. Couples and families who remain open to third party mediation learn valuable conflict resolution skills and achieve intimacy.

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