Becoming a mother is clearly a huge event in a woman’s life and many women worry about the kind of mother they are going to be.
Parenting Expert and Clinical Psychologist Kirstin Bouse said we often joke about not having a manual on how to be a good mother but the reality is, women have learned how to mother from their own mothers, from their friends and from the messages in the media.
“Many women feel unprepared for motherhood and ‘wing it’,” said Ms Bouse.
“In most instances, ‘winging it’ is not a problem because their role models are often their own mother or their friends and these women typically mother well,
“But for some women ‘winging it’ means that they default to mothering in a way that doesn’t fit their personality, their value system and even the year that they are mothering in!
“I really want to help de-stigmatise the difficulties mothers’ experience, its ok to admit things are tough and we aren’t coping,
“There is a real belief that mothering is innate and many soon-to-be-grandmothers have been known to say that they don’t know what all the fuss is about in regards to being a mother,” said Ms Bouse.
“The reality is that mothering these days is different. Women these days are different,
“We tend to be more reflective in general and pursue a deeper understanding of ourselves as people, women, partners and friends than the generation before us did,
Ms Bouse has her top tips for helping new mothers think about what kind of mother they want to be:
• Reflect on the parts of your parents’ parenting, you like and what you don’t
• Ask your family and friends what parts of mothering came easily and what was difficult
• Read books written by people who know what they are talking about
• Don’t act blindly on everything you read
“The modern mother is a ‘conscious mother’ and mums like this tend to educate themselves about different parenting strategies, looking for what works best for them and their baby,
“With self-reflection, education and a healthy dose of openness, this is completely possible and helps them to get the most out of their mothering experience,
“I am aiming to build a community of women who want to support one another in raising their babies the best way each one can, respecting everyone’s individual differences.” Ms Bouse said
In 2015 Life Resolutions Morley won Business of the Year, Best Businesswoman and Best Service Based Business Award in the CEBA Business Awards.
Kirstin Bouse, Clinical Psychologist and owner of Life Resolutions Morley, has over 20 years’ experience providing therapy to individuals, couples and families, specialising in peri-natal depression and anxiety in both women and men, and parenting.
Kirstin has developed The Conscious Mother’s program for expectant and new mothers to help them through the journey of motherhood. She has written a book, ‘The Conscious Mother’ which will be released in May 2016.
More information on The Conscious Mother’s program and book can be found at www.theconsciousmother.com.au.
P: 0411 651 274